Throwing some Holy Water on GIRL TALK.

Girl Talk

I can barley remember my name some day’s but I make an effort to remember the highlights of the day conversing with you hot chicks….
And now….a glimpse into the female psyche with more…GIRL TALK -You buy the ticket-Take the Ride. 
ENJOY!!!
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GIRL1
Driving a stick shift and texting is a workout!
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GIRL2
I think I peaked when I came out of the womb and it’s all gone down hill from there. Seriously.
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GIRL3
Men are just mean and hateful. That’s why I cheat on them.

YOKO
But you’re a psychic, you must know the bad ones from the good ones?

GIRL 3
You know what, they’re all the same. You don’t have to be a psychic to know that. My boyfriend knows I cheat on him-what’s he going to say? Stay home? There isn’t a ring on my finger. He can fuck off.
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YOKO
I’m excited! My girlfriend is bringing Holy water back from New Orleans. I’m going to shove it up me as soon as I get my hands on it!

GIRL4
I’ve seen Holy water-they brought that shit to a camp meeting once.

YOKO
Only someone from the South would say that.

GIRL4
What? You gonna write that down now for your blog? And…yup..your writing that down.
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GIRL5
I just wanted to thank you for your time here but the chemistry just isn’t right so, we’re going to have to let you go-effective immediatly.

YOKO
Your firing me? Awesome!

GIRL5
Awesome?! Did you just say, “Awesome”?!

YOKO
Sorry, I mean no disrespect but yeah, awesome!

GIRL5
Well then, I guess we made the right decision. You can give me back your uniform.

YOKO
Awesome! I just gotta take my lip gloss out of my pocket first…it get’s stuck sometimes cause I ripped the lining..and sorry about the dog hair.

*Let it be known that I make the WORST waitress in the world and THANK YOU FOR FIRING ME!!.*
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GIRL6
Did you go see Dallas in HR?

YOKO
No, why?

GIRL6
I don’t know? I don’t know nothing.  Maybe you should go see Dallas?

YOKO
Why? Should I be worried?

GIRL6
I don’t know? I don’t know nothing.

YOKO
Am I being fired or something? ‘Cause I just got my lunch and and I want to eat my Big Mac first.

GIRL6
Leave it here, I watch it for you. Go see Dallas. He was looking for you.

YOKO
Ok, I’ll be right back.

*I never got to finish my Big Mac Meal. I got fired. I figure, getting fired twice at the same job means-
I’m a sucky waitress. So glad I don’t excel at serving people.*
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GIRL7
I have a secret Portugese maid named Maria.

YOKO
Why is she a secret?

GIRL7
Because I don’t want anybody to know that i’m a lazy fuck.

YOKO
Well, your place is clean-she does a good job.

GIRL7
Really? Because Maria’s been slacking lately. The place looks like a mess. I told the dog tonight, that we were going to pack up and stay at The Four Season’s. I can’t stand the disgusting floors in here.
I can’t believe I live like this right now. Maria has to come in and do a good thorough cleaning.

YOKO
Why don’t you fire her if she’s slacking?

GIRL7
I can’t. She knits me socks. She’s so sweet. She’s 60 and I feel sorry for her. She told me the other day, “Miss_______, I was having the sex with the husband and he said, ‘it’s not the same as it use to be. You smell different’ I told him it’s because I’m on the medication and it makes me smell different. Maybe I no have sex with him anymore? How about you? You still no like dick?’

YOKO
AHAHAHAHAHA!!

GIRL7
I know??!!! How can I fire someone who say’s stuff like that? I just wish her ass would clean this place more.

*GIRL1 AND GIRL7 are the same*
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YOKO
You want strawberry jam on your toast?

GIRL8
EWWWW!! I HATE strawberry jam! Get that shit off the table!!

YOKO
Are you serious right now? You’ve eaten, with no hesitation; bull testies, goat brain, silkworm larva, duck tongue, duck heart, fertilized duck eggs, frogs legs, snails, chocolate covered crickets and chicken feet and you can’t stomach strawberry jam?!!!

GIRL8
“Shut-up! I don ‘t know how you white people eat strawberry jam -it’s nasty! Get that off the table right now!! Are you putting those packets in your purse? God.

—> *NOTE-GIRL8* May or May not be of the Asian Persuasian*
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GIRL9
I am wearing black track pants and a purple bandana, i’ve clearly given up on life.

*GIRL4 AND GIRL9 are the same 🙂 *
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GIRL10
I told your story a hundred times this week.

YOKO
My story-the one I told in class?

GIRL
Yup. Your story. I didn’t say your name but OH MY GOD! Are-you-kidding-me??! That shit has to be told!

YOKO
Yeah, I kinda felt awkward afterwards for sharing it-but whatever.

GIRL10
Girl, I heard your story and thought, “Wow, she really went for it” and was pissed at myself for not sharing the story I really wanted to.

YOKO
Yeah, well, there’s more to that story-but you’ll have to buy the book.

*Pricks and Bitches-A Childrens Story For Adults-
By Yoko Sanchez*
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I THANK YOU FOR READING and for sharing your stories with me.
Talk to me sometime…. yokosanchez@gmail.com and follow my tweeets http://twitter.com/YokoSanchez
leave a comment…or just pray for me.

I leave you with a video I’ve posted before….because it makes me squirt all the way to Paris, Ontario.

LOVE
YOKO SANCHEZ
XXX

Love
Yoko Sanchez
XXX