How long are you willing to stroke a man’s broken heart?

My girlfriend just started talking to a guy she really likes.

He’s hot and a little older than her which is perfect.

Until she found out how much baggage the dude was carrying around.

It didn’t take much to get him to spew about his last relationship and how he got dumped after 3 years with the girl and that they were practically married. It’s now left my friend wondering if she should leave him to nurse his broken heart or fuck him and give him a hug and a pill after?

She called me looking for advice.

I set the scene for her:


Donna and Dave are in bed together.

Are you ok? You were fucking me so good and then all of a sudden, you got a weird look in your eyes?

I don’t know what you’re talking about? I’m fine. (Holding his limp dick in his hands).

You were on top of me-pounding me and it felt soo good-we were both about to cum and then suddenly you looked at me like I was a stranger and pulled out- what the fuck gives??

I’m sorry. She’s all I can see.

What do you mean, she’s all I can see???!!
My tits are way bigger than her’s, my pussy is probably tighter and my throat is golden…are you retarded? Get over it or I’m out.

I can’t. I still love her, so you’ll have to go.

You bottle baby. She dumped you..and your fucking a hot girl, you really are a sorry case if you can’t see how lucky you are right now.
(She gets up and starts putting on her Hello Kitty sun dress).

Can I get a hug?

Bite me mama’s boy. (She pulls out the butt plug she secretly put in earlier to ensure she would get off…its covered in lube).

Here’s your gameboy back.
(She throws it at him. Then picks up the $40.00 sitting on the night stand).

Cab fare (she says smiling and leaves the room).

Dave gets up from the bed naked, picks up his sticky gameboy and starts to cry, hysterically.


Advice to Donna’s:
If a man is raw and still nursing a broken heart, you can try to fuck it out of him but is it really worth your time if he’s going to need your shoulder to cry on after?
If he’s REALLY hot and you REALLY want to sit on his face, then do it..but make sure you ride him like you’ll never see him again.
Because the moment that look gets in his’s over.

Move onto the next mo with a big dick..or a girl with a strap on (text me).

Advice to Dave’s:
If you’re the one nursing a broken heart…would you rather fuck your way out of it with a hot girl or talk to her over numerous coffee dates about the last girl who shattered your ego?

Don’t be stupid.

Go get your dick sucked and have is short-unless your ex is Megan Fox-then you have every right to be a hot mess.

Have a delicious weekend freaks!!

Kisses and licks,

Yoko Sanchez